Saturday, January 17, 2009

You Know You're A Fencer When....

1-When you actually find the piercing electronic whine of buzzers and scoring boxes kind of comforting.

2- When, after doing two or more days of events in a row, you find yourself thinking that standing and walking like normal humans is slow, unstable, and unnatural.

3-When you pay $160 or more for a single piece of basic equipment (weapon, jacket, shoes etc) and find yourself delighted that it actually lasted almost an entire year.

4- When you suddenly realize all fencers stand en-guarde when talking.

5-You KNOW the opposite of 'dry' is electric

6- When you feel more comfortable sleeping on a copper strip than on your own bed.

7- You don't care if you get a red or green light at an intersection because it has been grilled into your brain that those lights are better.

8-When all your socks are white and knee high.

9- When you realize, and freely admit, that going to fencing IS your social life.

10- When you're watching a movie or tv show and a sword fight breaks out and find yourself evaluating the actors' technique.

11- When you are finished with an argument, you know who really won because you determined the right of way.

12- People think you are in a abusive relationship or have abusive parents, because of your fencing bruises.

13- You know you're a fencer when you realize you're getting frustrated because you don't have enough strength in your hand to properly brush your teeth without the aid of your last 3 fingers.

14- You know they're knickers, not pants.

15- When you still believe you can defend the nation with a sword.

16- When people see you walking down the street or enter the train/subway with your fencing bag they get scared.

17- Or either you are asked if you play guitar.

18- If you believe you can defend yourself from a mugger with an umbrella and a really good lunge.

19- You hurt your hand and as you're standing at the sink rinsing off the blood you think, "oh well. At least it's not my weapon hand"

20- You find yourself falling asleep with your arm in the en garde position, with your hand holding an invisible grip

21- You have uneven leg muscles.

22- If you've ever reflexively tried to parry a "high five."

23- You no longer have left and right legs, but front and back.

24- When you DON'T look at the (traffic) lights because your coach yells at you for it.

25- You know that when you get foilists, saberists, and épée's in the same room, they will argue who is better.

26- Favorite movies/books include but are not limited too The Princess Bride, and Three Musketeers. Anything with fencing basically

27- You tell people white is the new black.

28- You can get straight to the point.

29- You know too many fencing puns and/or jokes. When using them with non-fencing friends, you're the only one who's laughing.

30- Find your opponents or yourself donating lots of blood.

31- Less gab, more stab.

32- Memorized Murphy's Laws of Fencing

33- When everybody was using Chuck Norris facts, you were using the Dan Kellner facts

34- You love when people ask why you have bruises on your arm and explaining how and why the bruises got there.

35- When changing from street clothes to fencing, random things fall out of your pants such as change.

36- You lunge (or if space permits fleche) at elevator buttons.

37- You practice blade with work with any object.
Your practice footwork in any location.

38-You lunge for things that are just barely out of your reach, instead of walking the extra foot or two.

(from FaceBook Group by the same name)

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