This is a photo of my dear precious friend Jessica. Taken in Colorado and forever hanging on my wall to remind me that life should be lived from the heart.
Wait? Didn't we already have this lesson?
Yes, But sometimes I need a lesson more than once before I "get it".
For the first time in my life I find myself loving something just for the sake of loving it.
Note that I said something not someone...for I always want to love my friends just for the sake of loving them, not for what they can offer. But I have never let myself go with an activity. So this fencing thing has really got me snowed.
I never thought I would love it.
And at my age I can't really go very far with it.
But I catch myself wondering "how far can I go?" and "what are my options for being involved in this world? Can I ever fence well or referee or even coach?"
And I rather want to explore the possibilities.
Well, just because I can.
It's exciting to be digging into a world I have never really been involved with before.
This Wide, Wide World of Sports.
So, in a need to re-calibrate and honestly decide how I wanted to give myself to this desire....
....or IF I am really supposed to be giving myself to it....
....or whatever....
I wandered off to one of my silent thinking places.
A monastery.
I sat alone in the quiet sanctuary.
Silence.
Impregnated silence that practically spoke.
And a fly buzzing in the windowsill that kept making me think I was about to step into Narnia.
Several things happened.
1. In the silence my heart rose up and admitted that I really want to delve into this world.
2. I was reminded of my green knickers dream....I was being given LIFE through this.
3. As I sat there praying I flipped open a book at random that I had brought to read and saw two quotes: "Listen to the heart, it interprets His will in everything that happens" and "Conventions, if followed too closely, restrict talent." Both of which meant somethign to me.
4. I was walking in the hallway and a monk stopped me and asked if I was Catholic to which I asnwered "no". He said "that's ok. I want you to read this. It's about a friend of mine who kept bees. Did you know bees don't come out in the winter? Take this and read it in the daylight."
Odd. And the little paper was a story about patience and the fact that there are no coincidences in life.
Interesting, all. For sure.
It would take too long to explain here but it seemed to reveal that fencing is indeed where I am intended to be. How all of that looks I have no idea. But that's ok. Patience, as Kelly always tells me. And enjoy the journey. I have been. My intensity by way of personality causes "enjoy" to look like hyper-active fun on one day and foundation-laying research on another at times. But I am still enjoying.
So, yes, I'm back around to a previous blog on a previous fencing lesson: living from the heart.
Maybe I'll get a little closer to doing that now! ;)
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