Basketball Inner Healing...but at the Fencing Center of course (Oct 31, 2008)

Last night was one of the oddest nights I have had in fencing.
Hard to imagine, I know. :)

For no reason that I could put my finger upon I was just "off".
No energy. Just feeling drained.
And no reason for it.
Thus, I spent most of my night just sitting in the floor and chatting.

As I was sitting there, towards the end of class, I started getting this huge desire to play with a basketball again.

About a week and a half ago God had revealed to me that one reason I would not really engage in fencing or any other sport, among other things, was because of a basketball game that took place in Mexico in 1988.....

Flashback to 1988.....

If you have followed my blog over the years you know that something...well....way less than fun... happened to me in the summer of 1988 in Mexico when I was 18.

A few days later I was playing basketball (see picture) with a bunch of girls and could not get the ball away. So, I suddenly hauled off and punched the girl. I was so startled at my own anger and reaction that I quit and swore I would never play basketball or any other aggressive/contact sport again. And I haven't played anything but softball since even though I absolutely loved basketball.

Fast forward to 2008....

So, then Jesus revealed to me, about a week & 1/2 ago, that this incident was blocking my fencing among other things.

I had thought at 18 I was just a terrible, mean person. I did not then have the understanding that I have now. The issue obviously was not sports but just having been in a really abusive type situation and no way to process it.

So, I dealt with all those "inner vows" and went through the inner healing steps....etc.

Then I suddenly woke up at 4am yesterday morning with an overwhelming urge to play basketball.
So interesting and odd.
I lay there for an hour with adrenaline just pumping through me trying to figure out if I should get up and go find a place to play.
Finally I went to sleep.

Fast Forward to fencing last night (Thurs) ......

After fencing was over and everyone was cleaning up I asked Kelly if she had a basketball and if she minded if I played with it for about 2 minutes.
She told me to go ahead.
I went to the office, got a ball, and just started dribbling it, shooting...it was fun...I hadn't handled a basketball in 21 years...

Then Kelly caught one of my rebounds and I asked her "hey...do you want to play with me?"
And she did.
And I was able to reach into somewhere and find energy that I had not possessed all evening and gave the game (which turned into 1/2 an hour) everything I had.
I played hard.
I loved every moment of it.
I did not hit anyone.....
....and I knew I was free.

Oh the kindness and mercy of God.

Now it will be interesting to see if my ability to engage with fencing improves any! ;)

One other thing I have confirmed.....I really love sports and am sad I have shut it out of my life for so many years.