Yes, so maybe I've watched Prince Caspian too many times.
And no, I am nowhere in this picture, but isn't it cool?
All that being observed these fencing classes are really doing a work in my inner man. And unexpectedly so.
In my blog before last I mentioned how God was teaching me about identity through my coach. That was Lesson 1.
Lesson 2 was the understanding that I needed to go back and release alot of fear, pain and odd paradigms from all those years in Latin America. For the first couple of weeks I was doing really odd things at two extremes. On the one hand I was just standing there and turning my head while my opponent stabbed me. I wasn't really trying to defend myself. On the other hand, when I got over that I was hitting too hard, as if I were fighting for my life.
All during that lesson and once I got home I was praying/thinking. Asking God what in the world was going on inside of me. I became aware that I was either allowing myself to be "martyred" as it were or at a emotional level I really thought I was fighting for my life. It was really strange. But these were things the Lord allowed to surface for they needed to be dealt with and healed before I could go overseas again.
Thursday night was Lesson 3. The blessing of good covering......
I got hit awfully hard in the arm night before last when my opponent's blade slid off the plastic protector and went into my arm a little forcefully. So hard in fact that when we took a water break I went over to a wall and was rubbing out my arm, in seriously severe pain. I don't typically show pain easily but it must have been all over my face or something because when Kelly walked into the room she took one look at me and said "are you ok? Do you need to be done?" My grandaddy always told me I was hard-headed...I started to say "no, I'm ok" ( I so was not ok) but was pre-empted halfway through my sentence when Kelly went behind me, unzipped my jacket thus informing me I was done. And the gesture bore no argument.
I hated being side-lined but the Lord spoke to me in this. He showed me the value of good covering. Not just any covering mind you, but good covering. Good covering not only is secure it's it own identity but it also seeks to protect and dispense wisdom for the safety and growth of those "underneath." I have seen enough bad covering in my day to make me almost prefer no covering. But, no, God is showing me that good covering protects, guards and carries me....especially when I can no longer carry myself or am exhibiting stupidity that will only destroy me in the long run.
Wow. When I asked God if I could take fencing just for fun and He said "yes" I never would have guessed that He was going to use it to re-work and re-establish so many of my internal paradigms.
I guess this is what it means to be in intimate communion with Him through all of life....
No comments:
Post a Comment