Mike made a comment Thursday night that was so funny at the time....and now very....well.....thought provoking.
The comment was made when I was getting ready to fence a counterattacker (which stresses me to no end) and Mike said I should get out there and deal with my fears.
I laughed and made some comment about how that's all I've been doing for the past 6 months.
This morning I was reflecting back on that and realized that God really has been taking me through a journey of dealing with my fears. Especially these past 6 months at the Fencing Center.
As I thought back on blogs I have written and different incidents it becomes so obvious that two things are occurring.
One - - learning how not to fear big scary men with weapons.
Two - - dealing with my heart with the angle of pulling out the "tough/stand in"side of me.
In light of things that have come up recently I cannot help but wonder.
"Things that make you go...hmmmmm."
Hm, indeed.
Granted, there are a few other things in the mix.
But the majority of what has been happening is dealing with fear.
Fear of others...
....like men with scary swords...
....people I cannot figure out how to relate to well....
....fear of destroying someone else even though my heart is right....
And fear of myself....
.....of unleashing my own heart....
.....fear of trusting my own heart....
.....fear of "becoming"....
Oh, and fear of failure. We're hacking on that one right now.
Of giving my best and it not being good enough.
Thus my team loses.....or, translated, someone dies.....
It's the core of my "perfection".
....what if I fail and someone else gets hurt or loses or....dies?
Anyway,
Yes, dealing with fear of scary men with weapons.
Interesting.
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