Learning Patience......with MYSELF (Sept 30, 2008)

"You're not supposed to do anything.
You're free to do whatever you like."
(Jesus in The Shack)

Yes. Fencing Lesson number one billion.
What else would it be??

I sit here wondering how to go forward....
and I hear Kelly's voice in my head saying "Patience. Leigh you've got to have patience. You're not going to conquer this in a day."

Ouch.
How can someone who has known me for 2 months have me pegged so well.
Hm.
Must really be God.

So, yes. Patience. With myself especially. I don't know why I can have so much grace, patience, whatever with other people but next to none for myself. Somehow I think I need to build Rome in a day lest the world come crashing down around my ears.

Will the world come to a screeching halt if I take a deep breath, relax, just be myself and enjoy life, God and myself even with all my foibles? As long as I maintain my salvation....no.....the world will not come to a screeching halt.

I think somewhere along the way I have obtained an overdeveloped sense of urgency.
And it affects absolutely everything.

Or maybe it's the fact that in a year and two months I'll be 40.

Whatever the problem maybe I should focus on patience.
Joy in little things.
Childlikeness.
Long term vision & development.
In just all things.
Drop the "urgency" for a while that is driving me like an abused wife.

Yeah. Patience. With myself.

I'm on a journey...I'm not dashing for a destination.

I will not ever "arrive", if you will, so why not enjoy the flowers along the way and stop obsessing about "getting there."

Yeah. I really do need patience with myself.
Maybe Kelly's right.